It also means that the listener, at least initially, limits their expression of agreement, disagreement, or other qualifying expressions. Acceptance – This means that the listener respects the speaker for simply being a person this is as unconditional as possible.Empathy – This is the listener’s desire to understand the speaker from the speaker’s perspective, emotions, and thoughts rather than their own point of view.Rogers and others in his field delineate the four qualities of listening orientation:
Reflective listening techniques how to#
Listening Orientationīefore we can understand reflective listening technique, the listener must first understand how to orient themselves to listen well. In the workplace, whether you’re a manager receiving feedback from an employee to improve the work environment or an employee helping someone in upper management address a problem, reflective listening can open channels for genuine connection and real problem-solving. This conversational technique focuses on helping the speaker to deal with or process something. The theory of reflective listening comes from theories in psychotherapy and counseling*, particularly Carl Roger’s “client-centered” therapy. If listening isn’t your best strength, have no fear! As we dive into the theory of reflective listening, you’ll gain some practical techniques to improve your listening. When you’re listening, are you actually thinking about and empathizing with what the other person is sharing, or are you thinking about what you will say next? Contemplate that and be honest with yourself… Think about your own conversations, whether in the workplace, at home, or elsewhere. We spend much of that listening time thinking about what we’re going to say next or not thinking about what the other person is saying at all. We can consolidate these sentiments in the common phrase “people listen to respond, not to understand.” On average, people spend about 45% of their conversational time listening and 30% talking. Another study notes that people only retain about 50% of what others say. In fact, an Accenture report states that 96% of global professionals think they’re good listeners, but 80% of the study participants tend to multi-task on conference calls. Unfortunately, most people aren’t very good listeners, but they think they are. When we listen well, we build trust and create a space for an open and honest conversation with genuine feedback: a healthier workplace and higher work quality results. Listening well communicates that the listener values the speaker and allows for true comprehension of what the speaker is saying. Having a supervisor genuinely listen to you makes all the difference in the workplace! Now some may think, “that sounds like mushy-gushy, fruity stuff.” And we could take it down that path, but being listened to, seen, and heard is incredibly valuable in various situations. Specifically, it makes me feel like the other person doesn’t care about me, my experience, or my opinions. How did that make you feel? It doesn’t make me feel good. We’ve all been in an interaction where someone interrupted us or was clearly disengaged from the interaction. Reflective listening is an important part of fostering positive relationships (and asking good questions) in the workplace, so I want to dive into this topic today. While the workshop as a whole was about mentoring, a major focus was on having meaningful conversations using reflective listening. This prompted my thoughts about a workshop I recently facilitated about intergenerational mentoring. Asking helpful open-ended questions helps frame the situation from a prospect’s perspective rather than what the salesperson assumes it to be. I was in a meeting with a sales educator recently, and she shared that the feedback she’s been giving so many clients right now is to ask more questions. But in an age where information is instantly at our fingertips, there’s no need to reinvent the workplace wheel. What’s the next way to innovate the workplace? How can we reach the next generation of workers? How can we maximize time and money? These are some of the questions that business leaders are constantly asking.
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